Screen|Scream Therapy continues through 5/29/2020

Workshopped a new old work last night for scream therapy. Coming together but still missing. Last week’s screen therapy was a circus! This week it was more stripped down. Still working on dialing in the sound. Built a pedal board in 10 minutes with some wood scraps. Pretty decent. But found some serious feedback occurs when I use both my wireless mic and bass receiver. Need to do some research to figure that out.

Feel like I’ve been riding the surface, mentally, through the past few weeks. It’s hard to take it all in. Put words to this epic time. I know I need to do this, write it down. But it’s more than I can describe right now. The sense of loss, the isolation, the strange kind of comfort too that also is part of the world stopping finally for a breath. While so many breathe their last. I’m trying to dig deep. Where is my heart and head in all this? Sometimes there is a surfacing, when I play, after a few, like the song above, dirty pictures. I need to get back to that one. I remember your skin. I remember not washing my hands. I remember kissing strangers. Now I’m tapping myself, touching my screen sending you dirty pictures. We got dirty pictures….

We’re asked to stay at home through this next month, end of May. How will we come out of this? If we only have 4 weeks, and I say only here because while this has been the most strange, sad and stressful thing I think our modern species has endured since WWII, there has been a kind of amazing quality to it. It’s felt like a dream at times. The days roll into one another. WTF I haven’t touched another human being in 6 weeks! Time has smoothed out. The rain, the sun, the natural world appears more alive, more promising and sacred. Healing. How can we keep that feeling past the SAH order and WFH?

I can only feel this semi-bliss because I am fortunate and grateful, so very grateful to have work. I didn’t even realize how lucky I was when I moved here last year and took this job teaching. You never know where you will be in a year… I would say. Right. What’s next? No one knows. I know a few things I’d like to do… Finish Forest-Time: Water [songs are not right, need another one, more intensity, more research perhaps], get back to programming and building my forest theremin series, start dreaming about Forest-Time: Air, octashedron, the throat chakra, the gatekeeper between the heart and the third eye chakra. The color is blue. Its intention is to be true. It is the keeper of stories, from this life and past. Vishudda.